


Learn to Fly

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blow Jobs, Breastfeeding, F/M, No idea where this is going, Single mom reader, i don't know man postpartum is really messing with me, no lactation kink, oh no my crack turned into angst and fluff, ok maybe little lactation kink, soft boi kylo ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25486600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After a chance encounter one night, Kylo can't get her off of his mind. And she, it seems, can't get her mind out of the gutter.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 38





	Learn to Fly

Kylo Ren is trying to be more level-headed, he really is. He knows stability is important in a successful government, and it's difficult to convince the galaxy of the Order's stability when its leader has a bad habit of strangling petty officers and destroying thousands of credits worth of tech when he's feeling grumpy. The problem is, Hux is observant. So with his powers of observation, Hux has noticed that Kylo is trying. This has led to Hux pressing his buttons at every available opportunity, like a child testing boundaries with a new nanny. Tonight, though, Hux pushed too far and found himself gasping for breath during a command meeting, toes scraping the ground and face turning an ugly shade of purple. Kylo is trying, yes, but he still needs his subordinates to know that he is not to be disrespected. After releasing the irritating general, Kylo had growled out some kind of threatening statement about knowing one's place before sweeping out of the room.

He walks aimlessly, eventually finding himself on a nearly empty floor. He ducks into a dark conference room, door sliding shut behind him. He takes a few breaths, tries to clear his mind, rid himself of the anger and frustration that threaten to boil over into rash decisions. He picks up on another presence in the room with him. No, two presences, both calm and content for the moment. There's a dim light in the far corner of the room and he steps closer to it, set on discovering who is lurking in this empty corridor and why.

He can't help the soft gasp that escapes him when he gets close enough to see who occupies the chair in the corner of the room. A woman, leaning back, face relaxed in sleep and eyelashes fanning across her cheeks. In her arms is an infant. Kylo knows nothing about children and even less about babies so he can't even begin to guess an age for it, but it looks very small so it must be very young, right?

What stops him in his tracks, though, is the sight of the woman's open blouse and an exposed breast. She must have been nursing the child before they both fell asleep. He feels his cheeks heat in embarrassment and quickly averts his eyes. How the fuck is he supposed to handle this? It won't do to have staff treating executive spaces like their own personal lounges, but he can't summon the will to put his "terrifying, iron-fisted ruler" persona to use on this (obviously exhausted) young mother and her child. If he wakes her gently, he has no way of knowing she won't tell her peers; and even though he'd deny everything if she did tell someone, whispers of the feared Kylo Ren getting soft are dangerous to his reputation and therefore dangerous to his rule. He'll go to another floor, he decides, then he'll send a droid to wake her and send her on her way. He can't risk sending an officer or one of the other personnel. Ridiculous rumors about the Supreme Leader and the pretty lady with the bare chest would spread through the base like wildfire.

He is turning to leave when the baby stirs in its mother's arms. Seconds later, a wail erupts from its tiny lungs, the sound seeming much too large for such a small being. Kylo freezes, somehow feeling guilty, like he's been caught doing something naughty. The mother wakes and begins shushing the child, whispering soothing words and cooing softly at the little bundle in her arms until the cries taper off to little whimpers. Kylo knows he's not going to be able to leave the room without her noticing, so he turns back toward her, careful to keep his eyes trained on the wall above her head. He clears his throat and it startles her, her gentle humming abruptly stopping.

"Oh my stars," she's saying as she swivels the chair to face him. "I am so sor-"

He's not actively trying to listen to her thoughts, but he's not trying not to, either.

Her eyes fly wide open and in her mind he hears _Oh, kark. Kriffing karking kark! It's Kylo! Kriffing! Ren!_ Followed by an impressive string of Huttese expletives that he hasn't heard the likes of since his days as a child on the Falcon with Han Solo.

She jumps to her feet, cradling her child close and bowing her head. "Supreme Leader, my deepest apologies."

She's panicking inside, he can feel it rolling off of her in waves, but she maintains an impressively composed exterior. Her eyes rapidly darting around the room are the only outward sign he sees of her unease. He feels other things, too. She hasn't slept in three day cycles, she's cold, she's stressed about her job. And, she's sad. Not the superficial kind of sadness that comes from missing out on your favorite muffins at breakfast, but a weary, bone-deep sadness that makes his heart clench and gives him the insane urge to comfort her.

Her thoughts are racing _How do I get us out of this alive / He's between us and the only exit / Why am I so kriffing **stupid** / There's no way I can get the upper hand in a fight / I don't even have a weapon / Nothing in this room I can use as a weapon / I can't let anything happen to her / Figure this out you blithering idiot and do it **fast** / If I can get a message to Vera maybe I can distract him long enough for her to get Mari out of here / What can I do to distract him / I have nothing to work with / Maybe I can seduce him / I've never seen him this close he's actually really kriffing cute / Don't kid yourself he's probably got hordes of gorgeous women throwing themselves at his feet every day / What would he want with you and your stretch marks and seriously when was the last time you even washed your hair / But wait isn't he a Sith or a Jedi or something and they do the celibate thing don't they / Are they the ones who castrate themselves or is that the tribe from Ra-_

Her train of thought throws Kylo for a loop and he makes a weird strangled sound in the back of his throat that turns into a coughing fit. He can feel his face burning, he's so fucking embarrassed by this whole situation.

_Oh my fuck his face is so red he's so kriffing angry think think think oh fuck_

The baby is crying again, tiny face screwed up and little arms waving in distress. The woman squeezes it tighter, looking very much like a frightened animal as she backs away from him until her back hits the wall and she has nowhere else to go.

"Supreme Leader, please forgive my indiscre-"

He extends his arm and she immediately stops speaking, flinching and whirling around so the baby is shielded from him.

He clears his throat again and concentrates on making his voice as gentle as possible. "Please, take it."

She freezes, the muscles in her back tense as she processes his words. She slowly turns her head to look cautiously over her shoulder at him. His outstretched arm is not raised to choke the life out of her like she's heard about from some of the officers. Instead, he'd removed his cloak and is holding it out to her. She very slowly turns the rest of her body to face him, taking in his offering and the way his eyes shift around the room so he's looking at anything except her.

"Take... I don't... What?"

He makes a vague gesture with his free hand, motioning toward her, then up and down. He senses that she is still completely baffled as to what he means, so he looks directly at her and his traitorous eyes immediately drop to her chest, lingering a half second too long. She follows his gaze and lets out a mortified gasp. Meanwhile, Kylo's head snaps back and he focuses on the ceiling as he says in a pained voice, "To... y'know... cover..."

_This is so humiliating / How can you have fucked up this badly / He's disgusted by you_

Her eyes are wide and she's poised to try to flee at any second, certain that this is some kind of trap.

Kylo continues to address the ceiling as he quietly says, "I'm not going to hurt you. Either of you."

According to the officers, the Supreme Leader may be terrifying and unpredictable, but he's not a liar. She's slightly comforted by his words as she reaches out and gingerly takes the heavy cloth from his hand, moving the baby up to her shoulder as she wraps the cloak around both of them, keeping her eyes trained on him the whole time, just in case. She rubs the infant's back and murmurs softly into its ear until it stops fussing.

_So warm / Feels nice / Oh my gods is this the way he smells it's kriffing amazing / If he is a eunuch it's a karking travesty / Focus / He must think I'm lazy and useless / He's going to exile me to the Unknown Regions / How am I supposed to raise her there / No no no what if he takes her from me and puts her in a Trooper program or something_

The fleeting moment of comfort she'd felt is gone and she's once again filled with panic and desperation.

In spite of the fact that her thought process and rapidly shifting emotions make him feel as though he has whiplash, Kylo again feels that same niggling urge to put her at ease. He finally allows himself to look directly at her now that she's no longer exposed, and, kriff, she's beautiful. She looks down a moment after his eyes meet hers. "What's your name?" he asks.

She hesitates, but she knows there's no way she's getting out of this. "I'm Engineer 746-"

"Not your designation," he interrupts. "I want to know your name."

"Oh." She blinks at him a few times, confused. She quietly gives her name.

He repeats it just as quietly, like he's testing the feel of it on his lips. "What are you doing in this sector so late at night?"

"It's... it's my baby, sir. Sometimes she just won't stop crying and she won't go to sleep unless I walk around with her," she says, eyes on his feet like she's worried he'll be angry if she looks at him directly. "The residential and recreational halls are always too noisy, so I bring her here and walk up and down the hall until she falls asleep. We were doing that tonight and she got hungry so I came in here to feed her and... I'm so sorry, Supreme Leader, I assure you it won't happen again."

He can tell how hard she's trying to maintain her composure, but between her fear, her adrenaline, and her lack of sleep she's dangerously close to breaking down. She's trembling and desperately trying to keep the tears that are welling up in her eyes from falling. Kylo holds his hands out at waist height with his palms turned down in what he hopes is a nonthreatening manner, then slowly and deliberately moves so that he's no longer positioned between her and the door. She carefully tracks his movements, still making sure to avoid looking at his face.

"You understand that this is unacceptable." His voice is gentle.

"Yes, Supreme Leader, sir." Her voice breaks. A few tears slip down her cheeks. She clutches the baby like she's holding on to her for dear life.

"Good. That's good. So this will not happen again."

She sniffles, looks up at him in confusion with red-rimmed eyes. "No, sir, it won't," she whispers.

"Good," he says again. He studies her for a moment before he asks, "What's her name? Your daughter?"

She shifts her weight uneasily. "Her name is Mari, sir."

"It is in your best interest and Mari's best interest that this interaction stays between us. If you speak of what occurred here tonight to anyone I _will_ know and there _will_ be repercussions." He gives her a pointed look. "Understood?"

She nods vigorously, breathing a huge sigh of relief.

_He's giving you an out / The Supreme Leader is being nice to you and he's hot / Gods, will you calm the fuck down / Sure, no one's touched you in a romantic way in over a year but you're not a kriffing teenager / Get your hormones in check / You sodding idiot / I am so kriffing tired / What is going on here / I need some caf / Or rum / I wonder if Hays still has that stash of booze_

"Yes, sir, of course. Thank you, Supreme Leader. Thank you."

He turns to leave, but pauses at the door.

_Oh please don't change your mind please please please_

Why is it so important to him to make this clear to her? He turns his head but doesn't fully look at her, cheeks turning pink. "I'm not a eunuch," he says, "and I'm not disgusted by you. You are breathtaking." He exits the room and still hears her thoughts clearly as he walks briskly down the hall.

_What the fu- / Oh / NO / Oh noooooooo / He heard / He heard all of that / Oh holy gods is it possible to die from embarrassment / Kaaaaaark_

He almost doesn't catch the other emotions because her embarrassment is so strong, but they're there - a thrill of excitement, a warm wave of delight, and - he feels his face redden further - arousal.

Then, it happens. An image floats into his mind's eye, stopping him so suddenly it's akin to being caught in a tractor beam.

_She's kneeling before him, looking up at him with wide, questioning eyes as he towers over her. He holds her gaze for a moment before his eyes slip shut and he nods once. She's buzzing with excitement. Her eyes lower as she brings both hands up to his knees, slowly dragging them upward, thumbs trailing along his inner thighs. She looks back up to find him watching her like a hawk. A shiver rips through her. She maintains eye contact as her hands continue upward, shifting ever so slightly to avoid his groin before landing at his belt buckle. Her teeth sink into her plump lower lip, nimble fingers making quick work of the metal and leather before moving on to the buttons and zippers that separate him from her. The button pops open with a flick of her thumb. She takes her time with the zipper, slowly dragging it down millimeter by millimeter as she watches him. His eyes widen, pupils blown with desire, his breathing is fast, his cheeks are flushed, his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, fists open and close as he waits with anticipation. She smirks, enjoying the effect she has on him. The Supreme Leader. Once his zipper is finally open she drags her hand across his bulge, traces her thumb over the head, her smirk blossoming into a full smile when his eyes flutter shut and he lets out a deep groan. Her eyes lower again to focus in front of her as she brings both hands to his boxers. As she prepares to pull him free of the fabric, the little pink tip of her tongue darts out to wet her lips-_

It's just a split-second before she's fully freaking out and mentally screaming at herself to think of literally anything other than that. Then her mind is an absolute jumble of her trying to list the melting points of various alloys interspersed with images of her pillowy lips inching ever closer to his hard cock. She throws in some advanced trigonometry in an attempt to distract herself further, and he feels her throes of panic like waves from a supernova.

Just as the fantasy version of her is parting her lips to take him into her waiting mouth, he hurriedly slams a barrier into place so he can't hear or see her thoughts anymore, then practically sprints down the hall to distance himself from her.

As soon as the door to his quarters shuts behind him he presses his back against it, sliding to the floor and running both hands over his face as he pants and wonders what the fuck just happened. His cock strains against the front of his trousers and he glares down at it, offended. It is unaffected and continues to struggle against its confines.

He heads to the refresher, stripping away layers of clothing as he walks, mulling over the evening's events. Why does she affect him in this way? He thinks she is breathtaking, yes, but why did he tell her so? Why was he so desperate to comfort her, to allay her fears and do away with her self-doubt? Why did he feel that it was imperative that she know that his manhood is intact? And why the fuck does this woman who appears so sweet and unassuming have such lurid thoughts about him?

He turns the water to its coldest setting, still lost in thought as he steps under the spray and lets its frigid temperature take care of his lower body's predicament.

As he steps out of the shower a few minutes later and wraps a towel around his waist, he realizes something and freezes.

He'd left without his cloak.

Well, then, he thinks as stands in front of the mirror. He'll just have to look up her information and go to her quarters to retrieve it. His lips twitch upward for a moment before he scowls at his reflection.

Why does the thought of seeing her again make him smile?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my personal trials and tribulations in regards to feeling like my tits are always out thanks to breastfeeding.


End file.
